The staff member, who will remain unnamed until guilt has been established, was deemed the primary suspect in the incident that caused the balls to be released.
There is little doubt as to the guilt of the staff member, who is still in custody, and we are sure to find a suitable punishment.
- Objects released: 500 bouncy balls
- Reported impact: Multiple fatalities
- Primary suspect: One staff member, currently in custody
"Very bouncy, and the staff member in question should stop playing with balls"
The release of the balls quickly turned the facility halls into an uncontrolled hazard. Personnel were forced to navigate a constant barrage of bouncing objects while the incident spread through the building.
The disruption lasted long enough for one staff member to vanish from view for several hours. Although the circumstances of the disappearance remain under review, the staff member is still being held in custody while responsibility for the release is established.
Dr. Dys Lexic has recently opened a used car dealership.
DISCLAIMER: Dr. Lexic only speaks Russian.